What do dating and shopping have in common?

Dec 28, 2022

"Dating over 40 is like trying to find the least damaged thing at a thrift store that doesn't smell"

If you’re over 40 and either dating or thinking about it, you might be inclined to agree with this statement. Here’s my take… 

I've always had a real passion for vintage clothes - it started back in my student days in the early 90s, where I would spend my weekends hunting around at student fairs and markets in Liverpool, London or Berlin for hipster flares and cool 70s suede faux-fur trimmed jackets 😎. Even now, one of my guilty pleasures is rooting through charity shops to find an original and unusual piece. 

There’s something about finding a unique piece of clothing which not only suits my individual style and taste (with zero chance of bumping into someone else in the same outfit!) but that makes me feel good because I get to: 

1. Support a charity 

2. Save the planet by giving clothing a new lease of life and 

3. Spare my bank balance to boot!!

It definitely beats traipsing around soulless shopping malls or spending hours shopping online.

Anyway, during my last charity shop haul, it struck me how similar my hunt for a great dress is to finding a great guy!! In fact, my charity shopping system is now so honed, that I was able to score a fabulous dress in the same timeframe that my friend managed to locate something she only vaguely liked the look of…

Here’s why: I came with the belief that I would find something great and I knew exactly what kind of thing I was looking for and I was strategic in my approach.

✅ I was already clear about what I was looking for (a casual summer evening dress)

✅ Being familiar with the layout of the shop, I was able to begin my search in the most logical place.

✅ I know exactly which styles of dress, types of fabric and shades flatter me.

✅ Once I had selected a few potentials, I headed to the fitting room to try them on, to see how I felt in them.

✅ Bingo! I found the dress that was a perfect fit AND that made me look and feel like a million dollars in only 15 minutes 🥰

Meanwhile, my friend

❌stared in overwhelm at the rails of clothing around her

❌wandered around the shop, randomly stopping at different sections to try her luck, but failing miserably

❌finally picked up a couple of items, but hastily screwed up her nose, judging them for not being exactly to her taste

❌By the end of the experience, she felt exhausted and deflated and ready to go home empty-handed, vowing to never come back!

So whose experience do you most resonate with? Which one would you rather have when it comes to your dating? 

If you’re over 40 and dating, and you’re in need of a better strategy along with some clarity to help you find what you’re looking for and shortcut your journey to love, then book a 15 minute connection call with me. I’ve totally been where you are and I’ll happily point you in a better direction!