The Authentic Path to Dating

Jun 16, 2021

It takes real courage to be authentic while dating. Sometimes, you'll get rejected for just being yourself. However, unless you’re willing to take that risk, you may miss out on genuine love altogether. Not to mention that the whole point of dating is to find a partner who wants to be with YOU.

So does that mean that you need to be yourself 'warts and all' from the very beginning? Well... not exactly! I mean, it's the best feeling in the world when you can be in your slouchy yoga pants, hair in a bun and no make up and your man still thinks you're god's gift ... BUT there's a delicate balance between showing up as your best self at the start of a relationship whilst still being authentically yourself.

Staying true to yourself and your date will help you to connect on a much deeper level so try these tips for being authentic while dating online and off.

Authenticity in Online Dating

According to a survey by the dating app Plenty of Fish, almost 84% of singles want more authenticity in dating. Easier said than done, when in reality online dating sites reduce us to our vital statistics and the algorithms seem to penalise us for not being young or skinny enough. However, sticking to the truth is essential if you want a healthy and long-lasting relationship.

Try these techniques to be true to yourself and your date:

✔ Turn off filters. It’s natural to want to choose flattering photos of yourself for your profile, but you need to be recognizable in real life. Your date may feel deceived if you change your eye color and remove too many wrinkles.

Use your words. Potential partners will usually learn more about each other from verbal descriptions rather than photos. Include stories that showcase your personality. Describe what you’re looking for in a relationship.

Be honest. Provide any information someone would need to decide about going on a first date with you. That includes being candid about your current relationship status.

Meet offline. Chatting online can be fun at first but may lead to romantic fantasies and unrealistic expectations if it goes on too long. Schedule a coffee date if it seems like the interest is mutual and see where things go from there.

Stay safe. You can be authentic and protect your security at the same time. Do a Google search by image to help detect any fake online accounts. Ensure your first meeting is in a busy public place.

Authenticity in Offline Dating

Remember that successful dating is more about discovering if you’re compatible rather than trying to impress others. You’ll both have more fun if you allow your true self to shine through.

Use these strategies:

Share a meal. Happy relationships can begin in a bar. However, you’ll probably form a more accurate picture of each other if you go out for dinner at a quiet restaurant or take a walk. Look for settings that encourage leisurely conversation.

Express yourself. Do you feel pressured to say what you think the other person wants to hear? If you want to be happy together, you’ll need to reveal your true thoughts and feelings and encourage your date to do the same.

Share strengths and interests. You may be more at ease speaking your mind if you start with subjects that feel comfortable. Focus on the things you love and do well.

Follow your instincts. Listen to your inner wisdom. Romantic chemistry can be mysterious, so try to evaluate the basis of your attraction and decide if you want to spend more time together.

Keep growing. Your authentic self continues to evolve. Pay attention to your changing needs. You may find that you need to update your relationship goals.

Introduce the family. Most relationships extend beyond the couple themselves. Introduce your date to your family and friends. Be open to your friends’ feedback. If you find that difficult, it may be a warning sign about your future.

Consider your purpose. Of course, you have to know yourself before you can be authentic about dating. Think about your values and life purpose. Ask yourself how your relationships align with your priorities.

Successful long-term relationships require trust and honesty. Being authentic from the start will give you a healthy start on love.